Yesterday was my first day back to Relief Society in about 18months. I have been in primary in this ward longer than RS. I have never felt the fellowship that relief society offers to so many. When I was single I always felt left out because NOTHING has to do with YSA. Then I was called to team teach primary with my dad.
So then to BYU where I was asked if I was new half-way through the year and I was happy if they even had 15 minutes left for a lesson.
Then off to Kentucky were I attended RS for 4 months and met people (some of which have now moved out of the ward... you know who you are.)
THEN primary for a long time. The first 5 months was the hardest thing I have ever done. Jared was never there, so I was left to control and teach 12, 4 year olds. So many times I came home crying. (ESPECIALLY when the stake was there. Just a bad experience.)
After those 5 months I was helped out with another team teacher and 3 of the kids moving out. Well 4 moving out and 1 moving in. AND Jared's schedule eased up. So much better.
The new year brought a new class a new SMALL class of only 5. EASY. psh.
The great things about kids is they are so willing to be your friend. And in the 4 months with this class I came to love them.
As Sunday (yesterday) came it really hit me. I'm not in primary anymore :(
I went to the gospel essentials class and then I had to leave my Jared comfort zone and go the relief society. I sat in the back for a reason. I was trying to keep myself from crying the whole time. Plus, I only know about 5 people in there.
I woke up this morning with the realization that there was no more primary and how much I miss the kiddos. MISS THEM BAD. I miss my friends, and found I have more friends that are 6-4 than I do adults. Of course, most those friends know me as 'girl teacher'.
I know that this new calling is what Jared and I need to be doing, and I know that RS will get better, but I sure do miss my primary kids.
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7 comments:
Hang in there Jenny! Bryan and I were in nursery for like a year so we didn't know anyone in our ward. We went to a ward activity once and realized every single person we knew was under the age of 4. Then we got knew callings and it took a while but we got to meet a lot more people and feel more involved. It'll get better! I bet you will be writing a blog about how you LOVE relief society in a few months : )
You'll get into Relief Society. It's hard at first, especially when you're NOT a new person. It'll get better and you'll love it before long.
It's amazing what happens with callings. When we taught sunbeams, we LOVED the kids. When I was in Young Women I LOVED the Young Women, it's hard to be released when you have so much love for the people you are serving. I got released from YW in November and I'm still having a hard time with relief society. I don't feel like I belong or included so I know how you feel. Good luck with everything. You will love your new calling just as much I'm sure once you get more comfortable with it.
Scary stuff. I am sure there is someone else in you RS feeling the same way-
The key to it is jump in. There is someone waiting to be your friend-Seriously. There is a book called A heart like his-someone did a lesson on it and it CHANGED my life. I so did not like some qualities of my last ward and RS, but I realized I made it what it was for the most part. So when we moved I was determined to be more open since I am shy and quiet and close off to new situations-So I changed my perspective and it was amazing how me being open made a huge difference.
Sorry for the shpill there, but honestly it has been night and day for me - I hope you learn to love RS-I never thought I would, but here I am:)
love ya "girl teacher".
I hear ya! I still don't feel like I really belong in my RS. The few younger ladies that have young kids are all older than me and we have nothing really in common. I sit in the back and try to keep Lexie in line, happy for any reason to skip out instead of sitting by myself. The RS president has also introduced me as a visitor last month after being in the ward since October!! I hope it gets better for you!
Jenny, Sometimes I think kids are easier to be friends with than adults. I love their honesty and how they tell ya what they are feeling, thinking, etc... no games... there is something priceless about their innocence! Hang in there and I am sure you will make friends in noooo time! Sending lots of love your way! P.S. Spenc and I were ward missionaries together too and it was such a rewarding calling to do together. The spirit is sooo strong when you are listening to someone here about the gospel for the first time. You are an amazing example and I think you are a better missionary than you are giving yourself credit for! You will be GREAT!!!
Hang in there Jenny, I am sorry it is so hard for you, we miss you as well. Just be your fun self and you will have everyone as new friends. Relief society really is pretty fun if you get into it. Take care,
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