Reading

I thought that I would just type a sorta boring post.

As it was seen in posts prior I absolutely hate working at the day camp with all the teenagers. They talk back, and argue, and lie to your face; they think it is ok to swear, watch rated R movies, and listen to music that makes me feel uncomfortable and just bad. I have to deal with the parents that raise these children which is even more fun. I've never enjoyed being yelled at.
Kids have been given strikes and kicked out for various reasons... this last week was stink bombs, which compared to the extreme of the week before is nothing.
The week before was bad. What this person did made me super upset and they will never be back at any of the camps. If they do I WILL quit on the spot. This was not strike three, but so serious that it was an automatic out.
By week 8 of 13 I had decided with tears in my eyes, that there was "no hope for the future".
Every day I came home and complained to Jared. I was so angry by the end of the day because I had to fight so hard to get these kids to follow the rules. Just rules, nothing close to the standards I hold.
Being mentally exhausting it also affected me physically with headaches and migraines that were with me almost everyday.
Basically I was at the worst job for me.

So why didn't I just quit you may ask? I don't like to quit. I like to finish what I started. And during the summer what else would I do? I need to be doing something or I will become depressed and start to shop... every day. Resulting in a sad me and a sad bank account.

So I started trying to figure out what I was doing wrong. Was I being too strict? Was I being just too sensitive? (Even I knew that 'no hope for the world' was a little too far) Why was this job so hard for me to do? Why was it making me miserable?

So Jared and to took a trip to the temple and it just hit me. I NEED to be reading my scriptures. Anyone who really knows me, knows that I have a really hard time reading my scriptures... not because I don't enjoy the blessings and happiness it give to me, but it is just hard for me to do.

Jared has tried to bribe me (being the awesome husband he is) to read my scriptures with a cruise (which doesn't really make sense because the money I'm working hard to make now is going towards it.) This bribe only worked for about 3 days because I know Jared would take me with him no matter what. (BECAUSE HE LOVES ME)

So the next Monday after the temple, I pulled out my scriptures and read. What chapter was I on? Jacob 5... the allegory of the olive tree. I couldn't stop thinking about the words that I read that morning. I wanted more. And when I got home I was happy.

The complaining stopped (Jared will testify) no more stress headaches. The nasty music that they listen to didn't affect me. Their blatant lies didn't frustrate me. The only way to describe how my life has changed at work is to say there is a wall that protects me. Armor of God. Things happen and I recognize that they happen and that they are there... but it doesn't "hurt" me.

Not to say the work hasn't had obstacles and times where I want to pull my hair out. (Including a parent saying I was 'demeaning' towards them about a balance on their account. Pah-lease) But things are better. Life is better. I'm thankful for the scriptures and the peace, blessings and happiness they give to me.


Now all I need is a raise.