I Can Do This

As for my new calling. I am now the ward historian.
What is that you may ask?
(... So did I.)  I had no idea. From what I gather I get to collect all sorts of information going on in the ward.  Make a newsletter for the ward AND help gather info to put in the annual ward history report for the stake.
There seems to be a lot of leeway and room for creative things... but I don't want to be too adventurous and get in trouble, so I'm trying to keep things simple, but fun.


Also, I'm working as a nurse.   For real this time. I'm on my own. The safety net of having someone watch over what I'm doing is over. It is definitely scary and work is kicking my butt. But everyone keeps telling me it gets better.

Yes, after the first day I cried.
Yes, most the time I don't know what I'm doing.
Yes, I dream about work ALL the time. - many times waking up to remember something I didn't do.

Sometimes I feel the disappointment in myself is worse than anything else that happened that day. Disappointment that I didn't give my best, do what was best, or that I failed in some way.


I worry....

I worry that I will give to much of a narcotic (even when it is ordered). You just never know.  What may be not enough for one person can kill another. 

I worry that I have forgotten someone.

I worry that people will feel neglected.

I worry I have not charted something important. 

I worry the doctor will be mad at what I have/have not done. 

I worry the family or patient will not see that I am trying my very hardest to take care of them, but that I have so many other things to balance. 

I worry that I will become de-sensitized to people and their struggles.

I worry I won't be a representative of how Christ would care for someone.
I worry I will lose compassion.

I worry I will be sued.

I worry that I will do something wrong.  So many things to do wrong - 

Not calling the dr. Calling the dr. Talking too much. Giving the wrong drug. Not catching a pharmacy mistake. Someone falling. Not giving things on time. Not charting right. 

I don't think it is possible to not worry this much as a new nurse. 

So many thank-you's to the other nurses who help me. Who give me words of encouragement. Who say it will get better. Who give me that pat on the back. Who put up with my numerous questions.

I love what I do, and I hate it at the same time. But I keep doing it - because I love it. 

I got this note from a patient. A sweet lady who needed some extra love.

I don't know what happened to her. I pray she is happy.  As much as I impacted her life, she impacted mine much more.

I keep doing this because I love it. Not that its not frustrating, annoying, hard, stressful, and difficult...
But its also satisfying.  To know that I can help, serve, and love... impacting others and helping them. Maybe only physically, but hopefully in other ways. 

I've only worked a few days on my own, but they feel easier each day. Maybe its because I'm praying harder. Probably. 

But maybe, just maybe, I can do this. 

Spring

I've taken loads of pictures in the last little bit, because it has hit that Jared and I will be moving from beautiful Kentucky next year. 

No thoughtful words. Just pictures of the place we love.

My running route...

Jared's Favorite Trees

Love the purple flowers between the rows of corn

At the Park...

At our house...

Indianapolis

Jared had worked for over a month straight.  As in NO days off.  No weekends off. No Mondays off. No Fridays off.  None.  And with my new full time job our schedules conflicted.... oh.... about 85% of the time.

Our schedules are horrible.
There is a higher rate of divorce for nurses, and a high rate of divorce for drs. Together..... I'm sure they are very high.
When I'm working we get a whole 30 to 45 mins together before bed.
If Jared is working late... I'm off. If I'm working Jared has a day off.  Blah blah blah.....

ENOUGH of the complaining.


 Jared and I decided to go to Indianapolis for a weekend away... well it turned into a '24 hours' away. (Actually more like 23 hours with the silly "spring forward" Mumbo Jumbo)

We didn't leave til Saturday because of the Scout cake fundraiser. BUT Jared had all of Friday off. It was just as fun (I think) as being on the mini vacation.

We made an awesome cake....

Behold its awesomeness!

The Burger Cake

The toppings were made from marshmallow fondant while the rest of it was cake.  It probably tasted discussing, but it looked GREAT!  (and got a whopping $70)

The next morning we started our drive to Indianapolis. We passed through Henryville. One town hit by an F4 tornado the last week. 

It was frightening. Huge trees stripped of their branches. A gas station sign, with no station to be seen. Piles of debris all around. Rubble that used to be homes. It was, again, very humbling.

First we hit up the zoo.  

I hate the zoo. 

But Jared loves the zoo. So, to the zoo we went.  It was the best zoo ever that I've been to... why? Because it was the SMALLEST zoo I've ever seen! It took us 2 hours to go to the dolphin show AND tour the whole zoo... and some twice while taking our dear sweet time. 

Some highlights.... 

   The eagle exhibit... or what used to be the bald eagle exhibit.  There was no eagle in sight.     However there was a sign.  (wish I got a picture)

It said:   "Due to squirrels chewing a whole in our netting the birds in this exhibit have flown away. Hopefully they will return soon."  

Then...

   As we walked by the lions.  There was no one around us, just us. One lioness saw us, got up off her perch and walked over to us and stared at us.  I was freaked out. Of course this happens after Jared tells me a horrible story about how once a lion got out of its zoo cage and killed 8 people. ... So the lion is there pacing and stareing at us.... when all three start roaring... I'm thinking we must smell great.... how tall is that fence.... how fast do these things run.... where would the best place to hide be?

As they roared people gathered and we left. Just to turn the corner and see baboons gathering poop... so we started to run.   (Because... just in case you didn't know they throw poop when they are scared or angry)  

We (as humans) prefer to run.  We ran from the poop and also from a couple of baboons getting frisky. 

Overall, Weirdest zoo experience EVER. And the shortest. And the best.

After the zoo we hit up a triathlon store, T3. Looked at things we can't afford, and envied pretty much everything.

We then went to our hotel which happened to be next to a fancy outdoor mall. We went to Nordstrom to look around (and be followed).  While there we passed by a couple with a stroller. I (like any curious person) looked in the stroller as we walked by to see the cute 'baby'.... I didn't believe what I saw......

I made Jared go back and look at what he missed. 

As he casually walked by again, the small MONKEY poked its head out of a cage (covered by a blanket) and chirped at him.  

Yes. A monkey. 

In a stroller. 

At Nordstroms. 

WEIRD.

Then a trip through Saks Fifth Avenue. Where I saw some coveted Jimmy Choo purses... NEVER had I actually seen some in REAL life. As Jared reached for a small clutch I BEGGED him not to say anything and not to embarrass me. Please Please!

-If you didn't know Jared has a love of embarrassing me in department stores with fancy purses. He has been known to grab a purse (A Coach purse on the occasion I'm thinking about), look at the price and YELL "Oh my gosh three hundred dollars! for this ugly thing?!?"  As I pray for the ground to open and envelope my red faced and extremely embarrassed person so everyone staring will not know we are associated with each other. 

This time he did me proud. He looked at the tag. His mouth didn't even open. (I'm sure his butt did pucker though...) and he carefully placed the clutch back were he found it, and we moved along. 

So Proud. I will associate with this person.

The price of clutch.... $1150.00

Its name is Cayla. (just in case you wanted to know) 

(I did agree later that the price was too much... for a clutch... even if it was a Jimmy Choo)

We then enjoyed a lovely dinner at Barcelona Tapas in downtown Indy and retired to a hotel for the night. Just to cut our vacation shorter in the morning because....

1. Day light savings (Stupid by the way)

2. I was asked to give the opening prayer in church

3. Then I was asked to meet with the bishopric an hour before church for a new calling.....

And I leave you with that.... what could it be...????  

I was 95% sure it was something and was totally side swiped by what it really was. Interesting; definitely. 

A great trip to Indy! Hope we can do something like this again. It's good for us to spend SOME time together... since we are married and everything. 

Remembering is hard to do... at least for the important things.

At work there are many MANY things I need to remember to do.

• Give the antibiotic before its too late.  
• Give the blood before its too late.  
• Give the pain pills before the patient gets mad.
• Do the neuro checks. 
• Call the Dr.
• Etc, Etc, Etc...

This is why we have computers and why I have a list of each patient and what I need to be doing for that person. But even still it can be hard.

So when I was giving one patient a pill  (same medicine as the day before but a different dose) and the patient said, "oh a blue one." and somehow I recall, "different from the yellow one yesterday, but its the same stuff."

WHAT DID I JUST SAY?  

Yellow!!!

All day long I give many different people tons of different pills. How did I remember that the day before the pill was YELLOW for this patient for this medicine when half the time I can't even remember to put on deodorant or to brush my teeth in the morning??  But somehow I remember to the pill from the day before was yellow??!?

AH- MA-ZING!

With any luck this job will keep me on my toes and help me remember some simple hygiene in the morning.

March 2nd

March 2nd was Jared's first day off in over a month.  It was a great day. We went to breakfast at wild eggs and then sported over to Dicks sporting goods store to have some fun there.
Then back home to weather out the storms.
Poor Jared has never been home with me during the whole hub-bub of a tornado. (I take that back he has been, but the tornado was on the other side of town and we couldn't even see the clouds associated with it- he was pretty relax about the whole thing)
But this time I had the pleasure of really getting him worried about it.
We had a Torcon rating of 10/10 - meaning a 100% chance of having a tornado within 50 miles of louisville. -The only other time a 10/10 has been issued was last year in Alabama when over 200 people died.
Bad odds.
So when the sirens are going off, and we are watching the news and the weather.com radar and having the EAS beep at us on the screen, and out lights are flickering - we started to worry.
However, we are safe. We had nothing more than some crazy wind and some siding come off our house.
BUT there were tornadoes all around louisville. Including an EF 3 and EF 4 only miles across the river in Indiana. It is a scene of destruction. So far 28 have been killed.

http://www.weather.com/outlook/weather-news/news/articles/tornado-outbreak-as-it-happened_2012-03-03

We are grateful for our safety and pray for those affected who are so close. We are humbled. We know things could have been different.

Getting Drunk = Endurance Running

The other day Jared and I were talking about his schedule. He was on call that night. The next day he and another co-worker would have to go in and perform surgery on anyone that came in the night before (if anyone came in- which sometimes they don't).

This co-worker (as Jared told  me) wanted to go out and get very drunk that night, but wanted Jared to let him know if surgeries came in that night (meaning they would have to work the next day) so as to not get drunk and be hungover the next day.
(if none of that made sense basically he didn't want to work hungover)

The conversation between us continued as follows:

Jenny: "I don't understand why people would want to get so drunk because they are so hungover and in pain the next day."  (please keep in mind this is coming from the person that had a hangover the next morning after taking Nyquil for the first time)

Jared: "They like the drunk feeling"

Jenny: "But why? Why not just drink enough to not be hungover the next day?"

Jared: "He wanted to drink to be drunk"

Jenny: "I still don't get it.  It doesn't seem worth it to me."

Jared: "It's like how you like to run. You run painfully long distances  no matter if your toe nails fall off the next day or you have blisters all over feet. Same thing."

Jenny: "Oh... Now it makes sense."

 =EQUALS=

I think I will start referring to the days after my long runs as "Hangover Days"

Would you like to go out with me?

So, this is a slightly embarrassing post, or I'm really just not sure how to feel about it. I think its funny one minute, and the next I'm embarrassed so take it lightly as it is meant.

I was invited to a dinner. Jared was gone on interviews. I was told to invite a friend. What friend am I going to invite??? (not that I don't have friends, but I would have my husband go with me and most my friends have husbands so it would be just weird to have their wife go to a dinner with someone, at someone else house  without her husband. I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong.

But to get back on track... I didn't bring anyone with me. They said they were each inviting a friend. Oh well, I will be friendless. No big.

So the day arrived. I showed up and no one else was there. But soon they started arriving.

They  = two single men.

Was I single again??? because this is exactly the situation you encounter when you are single and people (with good intentions, of course) set you up for an awkward meeting with their other single 'friends'.  This is kinda how I met my husband so I can't be to upset at being set up... except I AM ALREADY MARRIED!


Interest in other men = 0, Nada, Nil, NON-EXHISTANT!



So I made it clear up front that my husband could not make it to the dinner. I felt confident that this would kill any wondering minds as to my 'dating status'.  PLUS I wore my wedding ring! (not that I don't wear it, but sometimes I only wear the band because the diamond gets caught on gloves at work and rips them... Yeah, the rock is that big. haha!)

Just to venture on the safe side I mentioned my HUSBAND a couple times throughout the dinner. Really just to get the point across. And when I was sitting next to one of these "Single Gentlemen" I kept conversation to a minimum. He even asked if I wanted more water, and I did, but to avoid letting him pour me more water I said 'no'.

No confusion that I didn't want anything to do with him, right?

WRONG.

I had to take my NCLEX the next day so I left early. As I was leaving I was asked if I wanted to go on a date with him to a Jazz club the next Sunday.

....

How do you go about answering that question??
..."Naw, I don't swing that way.".... "Hell NO I'm Married, didn't you pick up on that."... "I don't think my HUSBAND would like for me to go out with another man."
The options are limitless. Yikes.

In this instance I went with "Sorry Jared is on call that night and I can't".  (assuming he was inviting the two of us - although he wasn't)

Maybe I'm naive, but does this happen often? Are there people out there that want to be the third wheel in a relationship. Or people that want to be the homewrecker? It amazes me.

Well to say the least I was quiet frazzled  and the hubs was not happy. BUT he was happy I didn't say yes.
Love you Jared!