Something Someone will Never Know

"Being a Nurse" has become easier. I'm 6 months in, and I feel much more in control, (even when I'm not - I do know the options I have) I get things done in a timely manner, and I know I have a support group of nurses that I work with - weird or bad situations... They have been through it before and can share their advise.

The first couple months were about survival. Keeping my patients content, medicated and also alive.

The other day I had a patient. They weren't doing so hot when I came on the shift. Lots of phone calls were made to doctors. Consults were made and many labs and tests were ordered. It kept me busy, but I did not want to miss something important. Their vitals are telling me something is going on.... I don't know what - neither does the doctor, but it is not normal. 

Some tests come back. From my limited knowledge of labs I guess they are in Kidney Failure - but I can't make any diagnosis. So I let the doctor come...he takes a look. He says the same thing to me that I thought. Their kidneys are failing.

-I'm thinking... Ha! I got it.           

~a small internal celebration in my mind ensues~

But then something clicks in my mind. 

This patient was just ordered an antibiotic that can hurt their kidneys more than they already are  = Bad.

I ask the doctor if he still want to give it.

It clicked in his mind, he forgot that - something that could be a major issue.

He says 'Thank you.' Changes the order and leaves. 

I've never thought I was a 'good' nurse. Still don't know if I am one. But now I KNOW that I have really made a difference in someones life- that they will never know. 

I feel capable, and it feels good.